Blog 2

The F Word mentioned how women in the past were often pressured to marry and have children instead of pursuing careers, so to further investigate this in my own life, I interviewed my grandmother about her experiences living as a woman in America. My grandmother, Sue Siebman, is fundamentalist Church of Christ and is a woman who would never identify herself as a feminist, even though she's been very successful throughout her life. (Actually, she's a little horrified that I'm taking this class, although she's one of the staunchest supporters of my college education.)

Here's what she had to say during her interview:
1. What was it like growing up and living as a woman in America?

I married and had kids in my early twenties. Unlike most of my peers, I began working when my kids were quite. I began working in college bookstore management, which was considered a man's field.

My grandmother has always been a hard-worker, and so, after a number of years, she was able to earn the position of managing several campus stores in Dallas, Texas.

She also doesn't believe that being a woman has ever held her back in life. When I asked why, she told me, My gender didn't hold me back as much as not having a college degree. I believe I would have risen higher faster if I had had a degree. But I never felt that I was held back because I was a woman.

She's probably right about the degree. According to The F Word, people with a college degree earn substantially more than people who do not (p. 109). And yet, I believe that her gender was one of the deciding factors in her decision not to go to college, despite being an incredibly intelligent person. Like many women of her generation, she chose marriage and children over college, a decision she still somewhat regrets.

2. What exactly does feminism mean to you?

Feminism has changed since the early days. The women (and men) who fought to get women the vote and equal rights are to be applauded. That is the spirit of feminism at its best. I believe in equality of the sexes, but I also believe there are inherent differences in them. I love my daughter. And I love my son. I love my granddaughters and grandson. I want each and every one of them to live a full and prosperous life and achieve their hearts' desires.

But, of all the things she told me, the most interesting was when I asked her

3. Can you describe on experience in your life that made you conscious of gender?

I remember when my son was really little and I went to the women's room in Carlsbad Caverns. He was only two, so I took him with me. While I was in a stall he occupied his time looking under the stalls at all the other ladies. THAT was funny, but later on, when boys get older, a woman must decide what to do with her son when she has to go to the bathroom. Nowadays, there are "family rooms" but back them, we had to either leave them outside the door and hope for the best or just go home. It was a very difficult position to be in. It was a fairly common dilemma. Hopefully, it's fixed now with "family rooms."

Her answer really struck a cord with me because it highlights the difficulties gender barriers place on mothers. She struggled to care for her son in public because he was male and she was female. Although it’s not as serious an experience as many of the ones in our readings, she felt embarrassed and frustrated that she was not her son’s father.